Adoption

So our class last Thursday was on adoption. We watched this video of this older man who was raised in the foster system and was never adopted and his little brother got adopted. This man went to grad school started a foundation and did amazing things in his life. All he wanted was to have a family to share it with and someone to be proud of him. WOW!!!!! About every other time I tell someone we are going to foster to adopt people ask how old are we going to go up to? Well honestly we really haven't decided, but someone always chimes in and says you don't want a childthis age or older cause of all the baggage they would bring with them!!! Well Look at this man yes he may have brought drama to someofthe families he was with, but all he wanted was LOVE. That just kills me!!! How can you turn your back on any child?!
For those of you who read this and don't know me I am adopted. I was born in Sacramento, CA and then I went to live with foster parents for about 2 months cause my birth dad would not claim Iwas his child. Finally after 2 months he religuished his rights soI can be adopted. I was raised by 2 WONDREFUL PARENTS!!!!! Yes we had our DIFFICULTIES!!! Who doesn't?
In our class a question was asked who has a harder time adjusting to their new families? A baby or a foster child? I blurted out a foster child cause they know what hashappenedin their life and itprobably was bad. Well the correct answer is a baby!! I was like HUH?! Then she explained afoster child knows what has happened in their past and knows that they can't be with their parents, they know who they look like they have pictures of their families. A baby doesn't know where they come from! That blew me away!! It finally hit me why I have had such a hard time trying to find out who I was and get my bearings. I still wonder what it would be like to seesomeone who looks like me!! I will always wonder. I have a whole in my life that will be filled , but probably not in this lifetime.
My mom always tells me when they got me it was an adjustment for me. My mom says she really believes that hearing my birht mothers voice for 9 months and then going to my foster parents and THEN finally to my parents. That I didn't coo or laugh or smile for the longest time. Cause I was being taken from one familiar place to another. During the class the teacher told us that their is a study that babies have a have a harder time adjusting then kids do. That if they held a baby and said I know it's tough and I know your scared and I know you are wondering where you are at while rocking them they adjust faster. Then saying Ther there it's gonna be ok don't worry you are ok, while rocking them.
WHO KNEW?!